Gundam Airlines
by CCT
Summary: Wonder what would happen if the five Gundam Wing pilots worked for an airline instead? AU, sillyness...good stuff!


**Title: Gundam Airlines**

**Fic By: CCT**

**Notes: This little fic was written a looooooong time ago! The scenario is taken from a Monty Python skit, which I thought was hilarious. So, I decided to make a GW fic using it. I hope you enjoy!**

**Warnings: none I hope. o.o**

**Key: (an action while talking)**

=*=*=

                A Bowing 747 is flying through the air. It's destination warm and sunny California. [1] Inside the plane were five airline employees. Two pilots and three Stewards. [2] This is there tale. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

                Trowa leaned back in the pilots seat. He had just switched back over to auto pilot. He slowly turned to glance at Heero, his co-pilot. Simultaneously they both sighed. 

                "I am thinking of a number between one and fifty." Trowa and Heero both turned around to acknowledge Duo, one of the airlines Stewards. Duo was sitting in another chair at the back of the cockpit. 

                "Forty-eight." Trowa stated and smiled as Duo's eyes went wide.

                "Okay, I'm thinking of another number between..."

                "Eighty-six." Heero said. Duo frowned. 

                "Fine...I spy with my little eye something that starts with the letter 'S'." 

                "Sky." 

                "Yeah, how about the letter 'C'?" 

                "Clouds."

                "Geeze, you two suck.... Fine I spy with my little eye something that starts with the letter 'E'." Duo crossed his arms, he knew he had them this time.

                "Elevation Control Panel." Trowa smirked. 

                "Gawd... I'm going back to work." Duo stood, huffed and then exited the cockpit. 

                "He doesn't realize he always thinks of the same things." Heero stated as he turned back towards the different control panels. "I am so bored though."

                "I agree." Trowa sighed. Heero suddenly smirked. 

                "Let's have some fun." Trowa turned towards Heero, now noticing that all too common smirk. 

                "What do you have in mind?" Heero smiled as he picked up the microphone. He slowly placed his finger over the button which activated the mike.

                "Hello, this is your Captain speaking. There is absolutely no cause for alarm. (removing his finger) That will get them thinking."

                "I'm sorry, but this is dumb."

                "Ah, come on Trowa...When do 'we' ever have fun."

                "This is dumb, Heero."

                "Wait...They will be thinking, 'What is there absolutely no cause for alarm about?'" Heero smirked again. "'Are the wings on fire?' (placing his finger back on) The wings are not on fire. (removing his finger) Now they are thinking, 'Why should he say that? So we say..." Duo and Quatre came running into the cockpit cutting Heero off. Quatre looked pretty worried, but Duo seemed excited.

                "What's going on?" Quatre asked. 

                "Heero is having a little fun." Trowa stated turning back towards the control panel. 

                "Wow, Heero. I never thought you were the type to pull something like this." 

                "Hn."

                "They've stopped eating and they are looking a bit worried." Quatre said fidgeting a bit.

                "Hm." Duo turned around opening the cockpit door. He smiled.

                "Hey, hey. One of them is heading to the washroom." Heero was about to turn on the mike again when Trowa took it out of his hand. Trowa slowly placed his finger over the button and began talking. 

                "Please return to your seats and fasten your safety belts immediately. (removing his fingers)" 

                "Yes... here he comes, going up the aisle like a bat out of hell....I'll do a worried walk now. " Duo walked out of the cockpit. 

                "I guess I'll do one too...though mine won't be acting." Quatre quickly turned and also walked out of the cockpit. 

                "Safety regulations." Trowa nodded.

                "Safety regulations." Trowa placed the mike on top of the control panel while placing his finger on the button again. "Please listen carefully. I want to remind you of some of the safety regulations." While Trowa was talking Heero was rummaging through his brief case looking for, and pulling out a piece of paper. "In the case of emergency it is vitally important to..." Trowa was quickly cut off as Heero began crumpling the paper in front of the mike. Heero then stopped as Trowa nodded. "...as the warning buzzer sounds. " Heero then began making a buzzing sound. As Trowa released the button the two began laughing hysterically. 

                "Oh, that was good." Trowa nodded in agreement. Right then Duo came running back a huge grin across his face.

                "This is great! Great !!!"

                "Yeah...I have admit this is quite fun Heero."

                "Yeah."

                "Keep going." Duo turned to walk out when Wufei appeared behind him. 

                "What are you jackals doing?" Wufei gave each of them a cold glare.

                "Calm down Wu-man, we are just having a little fun."

                "Don't call me that! And you two stop it!" And with that Wufei was out of the cockpit.

                "What a grouch." Duo huffed turning back out. He closed the door behind him. 

                "Hey," Heero turned towards Trowa, taking the mike out of his hand. "I've got an idea. (he pressed the button) Hello, you will find your lifejackets under your seats."

                "Wait, (Heero removed his finger) they are above them in the..."

                "Let them scrabble a bit. (pressing the button) I'm sorry, you will find them on the racks above your heads. But do *not* unfasten your safety belts. (removing his finger) That should get them going." Right then Duo, Quatre and Wufei came running into the cockpit.

                "Great, great, that was marvelous!" Duo was clapping his hands merrily. Wufei had a huge stress mark on his forehead. And Quatre had all but fainted.

                "You guys should stop." Quatre almost whispered his request. 

                "We aren't, technically, hurting anyone. Are we?" Wufei and Quatre looked at each other before shrugging. "Well, then leave us alone. We're bored." 

                "Besides we will be landing in an half hour." 

                "Fine!" Wufei made a quick retreat. Quatre was quick to follow.

                "Shall we continue?" Trowa suggested. 

                "Yeah. (pressing the button) The scransons above your heads are now ready to flange. Please unfasten your safety belts and press the emergency photoscamps on the back of the seats behind you. (covering the mike) What are they doing?" Duo peeked out.

                "They are climbing over the seats."

                "(uncovering the mike) Please find the emergency sprill in the washroom at the back and release it." Heero almost chuckled at that little bit of instructions. Trowa leaned forward and added something quickly. 

                "But do not unfasten your safety belts." 

                "That's got them back in their seats. Come on say something." Duo chirped.

                "The emergency sprill *must* be released." Trowa added. 

                "But do not leave your seats." Heero added.

                "Do not panic." 

                "Tea will now be served." Trowa and Heero began speaking in turn adding different instruction for the passengers. 

                "Inflate your life jackets."

                "And extinguish all cigarettes."

                "Please remove the luggage from the racks above your heads and place it on the racks on the other side of the aircraft."

                "Except for hand-lugage..."

                "...which you should sit on."

                "Now look." Heero said. Duo, who had been laughing hysterically, turned to look out the door. 

                "Hang on! hang on...they have all jumped out!" 

                "What?"

                "What?" Right then Quatre and Wufei came running over. Wufei gave Heero and Trowa a *very* cold glare. 

                "They all jumped out." Quatre said a bit shaky.

                "You know, I wouldn't be surprised if there wasn't some trouble about this." Heero stated as-o-matter-o-factly. 

                "I told you this was stupid." 

===end===

Author's Notes

[1] Hey, what better place to go during the winter, right? Oh brother. Oh, btw I'm from California. ^_~

[2] That's what male stewardess' are called, right. That's what I heard at least...So if any of you know what the correct name is, can you please tell me? I would like to know. 


End file.
